Once a divorce is finalized and the legal issues have been resolved, you must now deal with the reality of being two parents occupying two different homes. If your divorce proceedings were contentious, you may be facing some challenges knowing you will have to overcome feelings of anger, hurt, and frustration for the sake of your children. This is never easy, but for the sake of the children, this is the best option for everyone. Here are some helpful tips for making sure your co-parenting relationship remains stable.
While this may sound sensible and straightforward, we already know this is not always as easy as it sounds. The more challenging the divorce, the more contentious, the more significant the challenge. However, there are some things to keep in mind:
Communicating with a former spouse is never easy, particularly if you had issues communicating prior to your divorce. It will be important to have a civil relationship with your former partner to enable you to communicate effectively about important issues pertaining to your children.
Even when you and your former spouse have problems communicating, you do still have your children in common. If you can agree ahead of time to keep the focus on what is best for your children, you can overcome several challenges. Some ways to make this happen include:
None of these things will be easy but they will make coparenting much easier than if you are both working against each other. Overcoming your differences will get easier over time, and if you can remain focused on what is best for your child (or children) it will be even easier.
One of the most challenging things about coparenting is when the child leaves one home and goes to the other. This is stressful for both parents, and stressful for the child. There are a few things which can help make these transitions easier including:
Nothing about splitting time between two parents feels normal to a child. The easier you can make the transitions for your child, the easier it will be for everyone involved.
Part of raising a healthy child is having a healthy you. The stress associated with coparenting can cause you to ignore your own body’s signals that something is not right. While your children are visiting their other parent, you should make time to do things which help you relax. This can also help with the stress of having your children away from you for periods of time.
Let’s face it, you and your former spouse are not always going to agree on everything when it comes to your children. However, each of you must do your best to avoid having disagreements in front of your children, particularly when it comes to issues which impact your child.
When coparenting issues start becoming problematic, it may become necessary to consider modifying the orders the court laid out. When you need legal advice about coparenting and what steps you can take to address your concerns, contact an experienced lawyer who is a Certified Specialist in Family Law, please call our San Diego office at 619-724-4148 or send us an email.
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